Your child is not your showpiece

Team WOWRAL Apr 09, 2016

Don’t fall prey to stupidity, elders!

Don’t fall prey to stupidity, elders!

Look how cute he is.

Look how wonderfully my child paints.

I have just enrolled her in gymnastics classes and she is doing great!

Seriously? And we thought you understood life better.

With passage of every decade, the parents are being over conscious about their children. They have been pushing and coaxing to over achieve without being considerate enough to look after the strengths and weaknesses of their children. Are you one of them?

1. Comparison

1.	Comparison

This is the root of all evils. Right from our childhood we have been taught to be better. Better than whom? The neighbor’s kid, our class mates, tuition mates, cousins and who not! But have we forgotten that the emphasis is to be better than your own self? And how amazingly and dimly we have carried on this legacy for our children. Please don’t do that.

2. Race

2.	Race

Everything around us is about competing. Much like another form of comparison but this has another edge to it. Of rewards at the end. Often we have heard from parents, if you stand first, I will get you a bicycle or a Barbie or a video game, blah blah. If this is how you deal, the one who is going to be in a soup soon is no one else but you. Help your children evolve the spirit of life and not of playing games to win.

3. Do not scold

3.	Do not scold

Instead, help them understand the reasons. Let them diagnose the problem themselves and come to a solution. Read out to them the most wonderful stories in the world and they will flourish. The moral values come from recognizing and not scolding.

4. Pressurizing

4.	Pressurizing

This is a family of engineers so you will be one.

Look at your brother. He is a fine surgeon. You have to be better than him.

Do you realize the unintelligent remarks? Not only you are comparing, you are even going beyond the realization of your children’s abilities and persuading them to follow the suit. Understand what they want and let them be.

5. Show off

5.	Show off

Stop showing off your children to the society. They least care. The goodness you instill in them will take them long. Not the Sharma Aunty or Vinny cousin of yours.

6. Messy

6.	Messy

Remember the rains? The puddles? The drops on your face? The mud on your back? You do right? So why do you get sooooo upset when your child is a little messy? Let them have fun. Let them enjoy. Do not make them so sophisticated that they forget the lovely meaning of life- to be joyous. They are not the décor of the house that needs to look spick and span all the time. And as they say, a dirty house is identification of a lively home.

7. Don’t try to change their character

7.	Don’t try to change their character

Some are shy, some are extroverts. Some don’t talk and some don’t stop. Some sing well and some dance well. Some can think and some can mug up. Don’t force your child into any of these things. Everyone has their own individuality and so does your child. If you try to convert them into something else forcefully, the results will be awful as they will be in a state of transition which they do not identify with. Always remember that in order to have strong wings, the birds must break their own eggs, all by themselves.

Their future lies in your hands.

Their future lies in your hands.

It feels good to have children who listen to you, who are perfect in every sense of word. But what is the use if there is no love, warmth or fun in them? Don’t be pretentious and teach them the same.

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