Escaping? Running? Hiding? No not an option when an Aunty lays her eyes on you. All your plans will fail.

Literally.

1. 'Marks kitne aaye' Aunty

This category focuses solely on degrading you. She will ask your parents this question repeatedly and to you as well the moment she hears your name or sees you. This is not all. She will even compare you with her children or her nephews or nieces or another colony aunty's child or her husband's boss's or peon's child who of all the places happens to be in your class and has scored better (Half of the time they are lying!). And then begin the sagas at your home. Your parents anger and questions consist of one major thing- aisa kya hai jo humne tumhare liye nahi kiya phir bhi itne hi marks (what is it that we did not do for you and you show your face with such low marks)? End of story.

Riddance: Ask Aunty how many marks has her child secured or better yet, why were they hanging out in a front of the bar?

2. 'Hmm..Achche kapde hain' Aunty

Do not fall for the trap. She is being highly sarcastic. She will check you top to bottom and then comment on everything if possible. This is worse if you are a girl. Accordingly, her children are monks when it comes to dressing. she then explains as to how she has to coax them to buy new clothes and dress smart. And all this time your parents are judging you for spending national treasure on your clothes. *Sigh*

Riddance: Keep you phone cam ready when you spot her children with not the kind of dresses she talks about, go click click and save them as proof. Bang!

3. 'Aap ke peeche' Aunty

Your parents are out of town.

Paaaaartyyyyy! Yeah baby!

But.... This Aunty is in the colony

She is the kind who will tell everything like a blabbermouth to your parents that happened behind their back. If you are too silent, you are up to something. If your are too loud and partying, you are ruining your life. If you are a sober, you were acting about being sober so that your lies don't get caught! Do whatever, she will behave like a detective hired by your parents.

Riddance: Nopes. No. Nothing.

4. 'Affair hai' Aunty

She will always be on your back to check who you move with. As if there is nothing more important than knowing who you are dating and spending time with. But here is a trick- she might or might not tell your parents. because she is creepier- she might just blackmail you. Worse!

Riddance: Always be around a lot of guys and girls and never alone with your lover as the confusion might not allow her to track the right person. But be careful, she might just then label you a 'Casanova!'

5. 'Know more' Aunty

These you will experience when you get married. Specially the girls (daughter- in- laws) will be preys to these Aunties. They will watch you closely, ask if you can cook, what education you have, where are your parents located, where have you lived, what your siblings do, keep a check on the kinds of clothes you wear, how did you and your spouse meet- and in case it is a love marriage- hahaha! This Aunty is second Sherlock Holmes. She will leave no stone unturned to find out more about you and then spread the news among other colony aunties! Woah! Vicious circle!

Riddance: Fake smiling, less talking.

6. 'Shaadi kar lo' Aunty

This kind of Aunty has two phases. She will keep pestering you till you get married. She will even get you a few 'rishtas.' The second phase begins when you get married. "Good news kab hai?" Please Aunty, leave us alone.

Riddance: When she asks you to get married, just ask her if their son/ daughter is single. Peace forever.

7. 'Show off' Aunty

She might or might not be filthy rich but her nakhras will be highly irritating.

RO hai? Basmati rice only? I shop only in malls. Going to Hawaii for a tour. We just bought a BeeEmmDabloo. My daughter in law is related to Ambanis and they sent her a gift for the wedding too.

Half of the above is crap. Lies. Get that?

Riddance: I.G.N.O.R.E.

8. 'My perfect family' Aunty

She will praise everyone in her family. She, her husband, children, son in law, daughter in law, nephews, nieces, grandchildren, mother, father. Speaks and knows more content that any obituary column will ever boast of. She is highly boring.

Riddance: Act like you are listening. And yes! Never yawn!

9. 'Praise the Lord' Aunty

She has devoted her life to God. Well, to a particular Godman who has shown her the path to nirvana and be content. And we are not even sure if that Godman is truly a good person but do not utter a single word against them if you do not want to hear a lecture. her devotion excludes onions, garlic, chicken, meat, sex, gossiping, no fast food, no short clothes, no roaming at nights, no love, no .... living actually!

Riddance: Say namaste, praise her Godman and leave at once.

10. 'Kitty Party' Aunties!

The Gods too dread of them. Mix of everything!

Riddance: RUN! NOW!