Am I the problem in the relationship?

Team WOWRAL Apr 11, 2016

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Ever felt this way?

Even when the sun is shining, birds are chirping the merriest, when your partner seems the best they could be and yet your relationship is being dragged to lowest? Well, then considering the question of being the problem is a good choice we must say. But would you just accept this and leave the relationship that could be the ‘best’ you can? We would definitely deny that. Not because of the fact that you cannot live alone but because you have the duty of becoming better and changing yourself with every single day that passes. So here we may not give you love and relationship advice but what we can do is tell you how to tackle problems and help how to build confidence in yourself again.

1. Nagging

1. Nagging

Trust us, everyone hates nagging. But if you do it a lot, you are definitely one person people will run away from.

Get the work done now.

Why do you wear such clothes everyday when I ask you not to.

Clean the mess right away.

Why are your friends here?

Get the idea now? And these are not even perfect nags which are thrown at people. So what do you do?

Solution: Train your brain to work harder on keeping your OCD in control. You need to let go. You need to understand that people have bad habits and we must accept them as they are. We all have little things which can irk a few. So calm down and take it easy.

2. Doubting

2.	Doubting

Stop that. Right away. Just doubting on your partner because they are taking some personal time off or being late from office is stupid. Yes, we need to be alert but being over conscious and going on and on about checking their phones or facebook or emails is plain brainless.

Solution: Talk to your partner freely. Let them know of the thoughts you have been having and discuss with them in a gentle manner yet frankly.

3. Complaining

3.	 Complaining

The best ever advice on relationship - never complain too much. People are not toys or décor that stay just right. They will adapt and change according to the situations in life. You cannot be a control freak.

Solution: Lay low. Assimilate things and try to change yourself a little. That will help your partner pay attention to your details and who knows may be one day the causes of your complaints will wither away.

4. Prim and proper

4.	Prim and proper

Okay, let us admit this. Everyone looks wow when they are clean, made up and taken pains to look good. But that is not how world is. Sometimes it is good to get messy and procrastinate. It is not necessary to be all sophisticated all time.

Solution: If you are keen to fix your relationship, you must understand that people have their concepts about keeping homes. Yes, hygiene is a matter of concern but being highly organized is not everyone will relate to. So if you need to keep the relationship alive and happy, concentrate on being forgiving or work harder to keep everything decorous.

5. Food

5.	Food

We can bet a million dollars on the fact that food is one of the most common relationship issues that couples face. What to eat, what to make, where to eat, Italian, continental, Indian, junk, thai, etc are the questions asked before every meal time which further leads to little arguments and fights.

Solution: If you are the one who has most shenanigans when it comes to food, you really need to give them up. Food is something everyone works hard for. You need to understand that if you have choices, so does the other person. It is a necessity that one must indulge in his comfort food once in a while. So when you cannot take it, be your own guest to cook for yourself or order. But please do not throw tantrums.

6. Bossy

6.	Bossy

If you are dominating and you know it well, do not clap your hands. You really need to improve on it while dealing with relationship issues.

Solution: No one likes to be hammered upon with a list of instructions or wishes. They are people and not your slaves who will listen and follow as you will say. Agreed they used to adhere to whatever you said when the relationship started. Don’t you see what lengths they went to make you happy? So if they are making some ground rules for themselves, what is the issue? Chill!

7. Egoistic

7.	Egoistic

You know this section very thoroughly. If you are a self centered, selfish, inconsiderate, uncaring, attention seeking, insensitive, easily angered person, be glad that someone chose to be in a relationship with you.

Solution: We cannot provide you any since you are not in a habit to listen probably. You may still try Yoga and meditation though. And yes! Classes on self improvement.

8. Spendthrift

8. Spendthrift

Being careless with money is a key factor that evolves problem in marriage or any relationship for that matter. Spending thoughtlessly is not going to work. Everyone needs a secure future and hence works hardest for it. So spending without thinking and necessity is perhaps a fool’s job done well.

Solution: Manage your finances well. Take help if you need. Even if it is just YOUR money, no one would like to see you throwing it away without any reasons. Always remember, it is a crucial factor in marital issues.

9. Commitment phobic

9.	Commitment phobic

Do you really need a relationship tip when it is you who is afraid of committing yourself to anyone? Probably you really need to buckle up soon. If you do not want to be involved, stay away. Do not just go about mingling with people and breaking their hearts.

Solution: Evaluate your existence. You need to know that people are not toys to play with. They have feelings and they get hurt. You better not mess with them because you never know what might backfire. Realize that one day you will be old and you will need someone by your side. The question is who?

We all grow from our mistakes. The only key is to learn, evolve and refrain from repeating. Another gem that always helps- apologizing.

Be the person you always wanted to be. With better values.

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